No Man Should Feel
by Candyland
Summary: Twopart fic During a pret with Himeno, Hayate feels something that no man has ever felt before. EVER. And lookie, a second part! Yayness!
1. Part I

**AN: **This was (I thought) a brilliant idea given to me by my dear friend Rachel. Thanks a mil, babe! I don't own Pretear, okay? Quit rubbing it in…runs away crying

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**No Man Should Feel**

Hayate settled comfortably into the pret. Though the Princess of Disaster, Fenrir, had been stopped, they continued their training on occasion. It was an easy and convenient excuse to keep everyone in touch, to see each other once in a while. Plus, it was fun, and there was no telling when or if something new could pop up.

This time, it was his turn to pret. Not that he minded any. He loved these times, when he became one with the Pretear. Nestled safely inside her, his soul bonded with the soul of the Princess he cherished, their Leafe moving in sync to create a new power for her to use…it was a magic beyond anything.

But today, something felt…odd. Off, somehow. And it wasn't him, it was Himeno. Things felt strange coming from her end of the pret. And after a moment, he became acutely aware of discomfort; once again, it was from her. And it was unlike anything he had ever felt before. It was like his stomach had twisted into a multitude of knots, dropped off Tokyo Tower, and then the Riverdance team had come out and performed their most complex routine on top of it before putting it back inside him.

"Himeno?" he asked within her mind. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?" her response was definite confusion. "Nothing's wrong. Why?"

Had he been in his normal body, he would have doubled over, cringing at the sick feeling in his stomach. "It…it doesn't feel right. I feel sick. Are you sure you're all right?"

She laughed. "I'm fine."

And the training continued. She twisted and turned, dodging attacks and returning with attacks of her own. Hayate lent her his power, trying desperately to ignore the lurching of his stomach. All he really wanted to do at that point was flop down on the ground and curl up into the fetal position.

And it was to get worse.

Suddenly, he felt a spasm of pain. It was like someone had jabbed a thousand needles into his stomach from the inside. He let out a cry and recoiled from the sudden pain. It was so terrible he couldn't breathe, could barely move without it feeling like someone had rammed a fist of broken glass into him.

He heard Himeno gasp. "Hayate, what's wrong?"

"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!" he wasn't usually one to whine, but this was unlike anything, any pain or any sensation he had ever experienced before. "It feels like somebody's stabbing me!"

"Hayate…" she sounded confused.

He then became aware of something else. It was something he hadn't quite noticed before, a part of her physical being. And it was yet another source of agonizing discomfort for him. "There's something inside…there. Where there's not supposed to be anything. What the hell is wrong?"

In spite of himself, he felt a sense of realization, as though she had just figured something out. He heard her voice calling to the others. "Guys, hold up. I think Hayate needs to get out of this pret." She touched down, coming out of flight, and relaxed.

Hayate leapt at the opportunity. It wasn't often that he was desperate to get out of a pret with Himeno, but this was excruciating! He couldn't take it anymore! This was horrible! It was with a huge sigh of relief that his solid, physical feet touched down on the ground as he took his own form. He fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his stomach, wishing desperately that the last remnants of that horrible, sickening feeling would go away.

"What's wrong?" he heard a slight fuss going over his head. His fellow Knights, wondering what was so wrong with their fearless leader that he would pull out of a pret with his beloved Princess. Whatever it was, it had to be serious.

"Hayate, what exactly was wrong again?" Himeno asked, dropping to one knee beside her Knight.

"That was awful!" he sighed, as he started feeling normal again. "My stomach…ugh…and there was something in there…ugh…" He gave her a suspicious glare. "Are you sure you're not sick?" There were worried murmurs from the others.

Shin tugged on her sleeve. "Himeno-one-chan…are you dying?"

She laughed and shook her head. "No, no, there's nothing wrong."

"Then what's wrong with Hayate?" Sasame asked.

Himeno sighed. "Umm…" She glanced down at Hayate, who was still incapable of standing upright. "I don't think we should do any preting for the next couple of days. I mean, if you guys take the pain, then I don't want to put you through that."

Blank stares met her statement.

Suddenly, Goh went as red as his jacket. "Oh…oh, I think I get it…oh…" He looked incredibly flustered. "Himeno, is…are you…" Looking throughly embarassed, he leaned forward and whispered into her ear. She nodded, and he looked like he wanted to hide under a rock.

"What?" Mannen demanded. "What's going on?"

"You're too young," Goh replied.

"You're treating me like a kid again!" Mannen roared.

"No, really. You _are_ too young," Goh said. He then muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, 'I am too…' Then he turned to Himeno and said, "Why don't you go lay down? You're probably feeling it now, aren't you?"

She frowned, and put one hand to her stomach. She nodded. "Yeah…I'll see you later. Thanks." And she was gone, heading back towards the house, leaving behind some very confused Knights, the youngest of whom were rapidly becoming convinced that their beloved Pretear was going to keel over and die a horrible death from some unknown disease, leaving them alone.

"So would you mind filling me in?" Hayate demanded. He seemed to have regained the ability to stand, and was leaning against a nearby tree for support. He still looked faintly pale from his ordeal.

Goh laughed, and dropped a hand on Hayate's shoulder. He leaned in, and whispered in a voice soft enough that the kids couldn't hear, but the adults could, "Congratulations. You've felt something no man should feel. You're the first man to ever know what a period feels like."

Hayate's head swivelled back and forth—he looked at Goh's face (which was dancing somewhere between amused and embarassed) and Himeno's retreating back. To and fro, his head swung, about five times in succession, before he suddenly stood up ramrod straight and shouted, "You've got to be kidding!"

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**AN: **This idea was the brainchild of my friend Rachel, but I'm the one who actually wrote the story. So if you loved it, I thank you! If you hated it…I blame her. It's all her fault! Heehee, I'm just kidding. I hope you enjoyed it—poor Hayate, lol. Laters!!


	2. Part II

**AN: **A thousand hundred bajillion thank you's to the lovely and talented reviewer **ziggy2438 **for inspiring a second chapter to this fic. Yes, ladies and genterbeans, a second chapter. I checked with my buddy Rachel, who inspired the original, to make sure it was okay with her (since it is kind of her brainchild), and she gave the go-ahead, so here it is! Enjoy! I don't own Pretear…pity…

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**No Man Should Feel, Part II **(creative title, ne?)

The fireball zipped past the Pretear's head. Himeno grinned, and summoned the power of Wind in cautious retaliation, being careful not to hurt her friend and Leafe Knight. Goh dodged her attack, and threw her a grin and a conspiratorial wink. She laughed and shot off into the sky.

Within the pret, Hayate smiled at her happiness.

After that one time, the _incident_, they'd opted to forgo training during those…ah, times. It wasn't at all hard or embarrassing. Himeno would simply say, "I don't feel like it," and the case was closed. No one pushed the matter at all after that. And when she gave the go ahead, they'd resume until the next time, about a month later, when she would offer the same excuse.

Of course, Goh had yet to let him hear the end of it, and the younger Knights didn't _quite_ understand what the problem was just yet. But that was all for the better, Hayate thought.

It had been a long time since the defeat of the Tree of Fenrir, and though it seemed almost silly to continue training when the likelihood of something appearing was almost nonexistent, they continued to train. It wasn't even work; it was fun, a game for them, and a great chance for everyone to spend some quality time together, in spite of how busy they all were.

Mannen, Hajime, and Shin were no longer quite as young. In fact, Mannen had recently confided in Himeno that he'd had a revolutionary breakthrough, an epiphany that left him dazed and confused.

The revelation? Girls were _nice_.

But in the several years that had passed since the discovery of the Pretear and the Princess of Disaster, two wonderful things had happened: two weddings. Sasame and Takako, Himeno and Hayate. The former had been a full two years before the latter, but now each couple was happily settled.

In fact, it was at Sasame that Himeno launched her next attack. He retaliated quickly.

Deep within the pret, merged with the soul of his beloved to share her very heart, Hayate didn't think life could get much better. Although, once again, the pret felt a little odd, he knew it wasn't…THAT. So he figured perhaps she had a cold or something. Maybe she was getting the flu. His—or rather, her—stomach was twisting into strange knots.

But he could ignore it. To pret with Himeno was bliss.

It is at moments like this, of course, that Murphy's Law tends to strike. And as everyone knows, Murphy's Law is a bitch and a half.

Without warning, Himeno touched down on the ground. One of Hajime's attacks flew over her head, missing her by scant inches, but she didn't seem to notice. She took a few steps, and staggered. Within her, Hayate felt woozy. He was dizzy, like he'd gone on a merry-go-round one too many times. His head was swimming, and the world suddenly looked like a funhouse mirror.

And when the blackness swallowed her mind, it took him with her.

Himeno fainted.

She—and he along with her—was only unconscious for a moment, but it was long enough for the other Knights to engage in full-fledged panic. Himeno had actually regained consciousness by the time they'd landed, and Hayate awoke with her. However, there was still plenty of wooziness there, and so the Pretear had to have a little help getting to her feet.

It took a few minutes before she was back to normal, and even a little longer to convince the others that she was fine, all was well, could they please resume the training. Somewhat reluctantly, the Knights agreed, and everyone pushed back into the air to resume their practice.

For a while, all was well. The dizziness was gone, and Hayate reasoned that he was right: she was coming down with something. That was why she had passed out. He'd let her finish this training session, and then maybe they needed to make a doctor's appointment or something.

Suddenly, Himeno froze, hovering in midair. One hand went to her stomach, and the other flew to cover her mouth. Inside her, Hayate was overwhelmed with the most intense feeling of nausea he had ever experienced. And it was coming from her.

With a speed rare even for a Pretear, Himeno shot through an open window into the Awayuki mansion (as they usually did their training on the mansion grounds, safe from the prying eyes of the public), and dashed into the bathroom; the door closed behind her with a slam. The other Leafe Knights followed and waited in the hall, each in varying states of panic over the health of their beloved Pretear.

And then the noise began. The most horrible retching sound any of them had ever heard.

Of course, what they were hearing was nothing compared to what Hayate was _feeling_.

It was worse than…_the incident._ It was a million times worse than that. He was sure that if this went on, Himeno was probably going to lose a few internal organs, like some sort of bizarre sacrifice to the Porcelain God she was kneeling to.

His stomach wrenched in time with hers, like it was being twisted into some bizarre balloon animal. It lurched and twisted and clenched and roller coastered for the entire duration of her sudden illness. She was probably kneeling there for a mere couple of minutes. But it felt like hours and hours.

When her stomach had emptied, and the dry heaves had stopped, she flushed the offerings and leaned her head against the white basin, breathing heavily.

His head throbbed, and his stomach was still doing strange dance moves—probably the Macarena, judging from the disgusting way it felt right now. He wished he could pass out again; maybe unconsciousness would make the horrible sensations go away.

A tap on the door, the lightest of knocks, sent the war drums pounding in his ears again. If this was through a pret, and not his real physical self, then…dear gods, poor Himeno! Hayate suddenly had the urge to do something very nice for her—he wasn't quite sure what just yet. Maybe after she was over the flu or whatever illness had her in its clutches.

The door opened, and Sasame's head popped in. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly, it seemed, Japanese had become Himeno's second language. She replied in a strangled whisper by speaking in tongues. "Arghyfk nhl faluilkt ouljf fhgture ldgale…"

Sasame, the Knight of Sound, frowned, and leaned down a little closer. "Come again?" She repeated the exact same phrase, and he shook his head. "Wow, even I can't understand you."

"Ughnnnnn…" Himeno moaned, and Hayate, inside the pret, felt the jackhammers starting to pound at the inside of his skull again. Right now, he wanted to go lay down. For Himeno's sake.

Actually, what he really wanted was to get out of this pret! But he wasn't quite sure how that would affect Himeno physically at the moment. And so he waited patiently, if painfully, while Sasame carefully scooped her up and started carrying her towards her old bedroom inside the mansion.

Hayate breathed a sigh of relief…which turned into a soft groan when Himeno told Sasame to stop. "Can we go down to the kitchens, please?" she asked. Already, her pallor had returned to its normal color, and she seemed to be feeling better.

Hayate nearly choked. Kitchens? That was where food was prepared! And she had just managed to throw up her entire breakfast. And now she wanted more?!? What the hell was wrong with her?!?

Then he became acutely aware that he was, himself, quite hungry. It wasn't hungry like his stomach was growling and demanding food. It was more like he had the need to feel a certain taste on his tongue, just for the taste. When he realized what he was actually craving, he began to feel a little sick again.

But, in respect of her wishes, Sasame helped Himeno down to the kitchen—with the rest of the Leafe Knights in tow. The chef was bustling around, preparing something that smelled absolutely divine. He turned a winning smile on his guests and immediately asked what he could get for them.

Hayate felt a blush touch Himeno's cheeks. "This is going to sound revolting, but I have the most insane craving for ice cream…but could you put some pickles in with it?"

The room went dead silent as everyone stared at her.

Still inside the pret (and, he strongly suspected, totally forgotten), Hayate actually felt his mouth water—an odd sensation, considering that he didn't possess his own physical mouth at that moment. But he wished the chef would stop standing around and get the damn ice cream with the damn pickles!

A moment later, with the Leafe Knights gathered around to watch in wonder, Himeno was happily munching on a large bowl of chocolate ice cream topped with a healthy serving of pickles. And Hayate was faintly disgusted to realize that it tasted _great_, for some reason.

Mannen and Hajime, Hayate noticed, were the color of the pickles, and Shin's face was about the same shade of green as his Knight robes. Goh and Kei didn't look too much better. Sasame, though, looked thoughtful. Then he suddenly said, "Ah, Himeno? I think we all forgot about poor Hayate. Maybe you should…um, let him out of the pret."

Comprehension dawned, and Hayate quickly sent a prayer of thanks up to whatever deities might happen to be listening. A moment later, he was safely back in his own form, and he felt the sick feelings quickly subside. But then he looked at the bowl in front of Himeno, and his stomach rolled again.

"Are you okay?" Kei asked sympathetically.

"I'll survive. But I'm more worried about—"

Sasame had already reached forward and put a hand on Himeno's forehead. "Himeno…this will sound like a stupid question, but are you feeling all right?"

She frowned. "I do now…"

"I think a doctor's visit is in order."

Two days (and several vomiting fits) later, Himeno emerged from the doctor. There was a strange expression on her face. Hayate and Sasame, who had accompanied her, both jumped up and darted over to her. "Well?" Hayate asked. "What did the doctor say?" _And why the hell did those pickles taste good?_

To his surprise, Himeno threw her arms around him. "Hayate…I'm going to have a baby!"

The Wind Knight's eyes widened in shock as he processed this declaration.

"We have to get to the mansion! I have to tell otou-san and okaa-sama and Mawata and Mayune and everybody! Come on!" she laughed and darted around him towards the door.

Sasame turned a wry look on his friend and fellow Knight as they followed her outside. "Soooooooo…did you feel that too?"

It was fortunate that they were right in front of a doctor's office, because Hayate suddenly felt an irrepressible urge to punch Sasame right in the nose.

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**AN: **Heeheehee…I'm so cruel to poor Hayate! And for the record, I'm eighteen years old. I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant. I just took a couple of the stereotypical things that happen to women at this point in their lives and put it from the POV of a male sharing those feelings…I think I just put every woman's dream into words. And it's nothing against any guys out there. It's just…well, I'm female, and it can be a pain sometimes—literally.

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed the little follow-up. And while the idea of doing one on childbirth had crossed my mind, it won't happen. First of all, I don't think I know of enough synonyms for pain, and secondly, I can't imagine a scenario where Himeno and Hayate would be in a pret while she's delivering. So…I think it ends here. Thanks for reading! Bye!


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